Today is not a good day. I am a whirlwind of emotions. Smiling one minute and crying the next. I wish it all would stop. My brain. The feelings. The emotions. All someone has to do is ask, “are you okay?, and the tears start to fall.
Her funeral is today and I can’t be there. I hate this. Hell, hate is not a strong enough word right now. Take hate, and despise, and anger and roll them into a ball and you might be close to how I feel. To make it better, I got on Facebook this morning, always a good idea when your already in a foul mood, and saw my memories. My Gma’s funeral was four years ago today.
I am doing my best to stay busy doing this and that. Keeping my mind occupied and somewhat tame of which direction is wants to go, but it’s hard to do since, as I have said before, my mind, has a mind of it’s own.
At some point things have got to give, and whenever things get to be to much, or feel like to much I always think about what the bible says. He will never give you more than you can handle. Paraphrasing of course. So, with the help of my friends, and my family, I know that this will get better. I know there is a light on the other side of this oh so dark tunnel. I just can’t see it quite yet.